The Etiquette of Playing Strangers

Over the board, etiquette is easy because a person is sitting opposite you. Online, the opponent is a name and a clock, and a certain amount of ordinary decency evaporates. It is worth writing down what good behaviour looks like, because most breaches are thoughtlessness rather than malice.

Resign or play, but decide

Playing on in a lost position is entirely your right. Nobody is owed your resignation, and plenty of players learn a great deal from defending badly. What is poor form is playing on while doing nothing — shuffling a king back and forth to burn your opponent's clock in a position with no counterplay.

The test is simple: are you still trying to save the game, or are you trying to make them tired? The first is chess. The second is not.

Take the draw offer seriously

A draw offer is a question, not an insult. Answer it by playing on or accepting, and do not answer it by offering repeatedly in a position you are losing. Repeated offers are a distraction tactic and everyone recognises them as such.

Say something, or say nothing

Chat is optional and the good version is short. 'Good game' at the end costs nothing. Analysis afterwards, if both parties want it, is genuinely one of the best ways to improve.

What is never acceptable is abuse, harassment, or any comment about a person rather than their moves. Our guidelines set out the line and the reporting route clearly, and reports are read. A community only stays pleasant if the unpleasant behaviour is visibly unwelcome.

Disconnections happen

If your opponent drops mid-game, wait if you can. Bad connections are common, and the goodwill you extend comes back to you the day your own router decides otherwise.

None of this is complicated, and none of it requires you to be less competitive. Play hard. Be gracious. Those have never been in conflict.